Losing a Child

He entered my life late, he left it too soon, this third son of mine. He came into my life the easy way; already potty-trained, already driving. His leaving … not so easy.

People say that losing a child is one of the worst things to happen to a parent. They say it is difficult. They say it is rough. If you haven’t been there, you have no idea. You can’t imagine how this tragedy will affect your life in all aspects. Two friends lost children, years before I lost my stepson, Mark Gloyd. I did not fully understand the depth of their pain. I didn’t know the void left in their life. I could empathize with them. I could cry with them. I couldn’t fully know the feelings and emotions a child’s death evoked.

December 27, 2005, two days after a joyless Christmas, I entered their world – a world consisting of bereaved parents in various stages of grief, denial, pain and recovery. I did not want to join their club. I held no sway with the nomination process. I had no say in the outcome.

Mark was one month past his 23rd birthday.

My sole consolation was that I was there for him at the end of his losing battle with cancer. I held his hand and stroked his brow. His mother sat on his other side. His father hovered around us all, encompassed in an enveloping grief and sorrow that permeated the room. I was there as he drew his last breath, as I was not when he drew his first.

So, what do we do as writers? We write. We write about our life. Our world and experiences are transcribed into words. We write on paper – tablets, napkins, parchment, standard bond. We type on computers; click-clack-click-clack, keystrokes slowly etching our memories onto hard drives and flash drives.

We write. We journey through our souls. We heal. We honor. The memories of our loved ones become engraved in time, their footsteps on this earth memorialized by our words. Because that’s what we writers do. We write.

They watch over our shoulders. Smiling. They know they are loved. They know we remember.

*******

Author’s note – These words were written for another project in 2013. I kept wanting to write Mark’s story and honor his life – but I chickened out. I found that I couldn’t dive deep enough into the pain of losing him to write a full book. So I cheated. I teamed up with many other authors that lost children or siblings. Together we told our stories in two different anthologies – Mothers of Angels, and Mothers of Angels 2.

11 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Martha Reynolds
    Apr 17, 2022 @ 10:33:11

    Oh, Trisha. This is so moving.

    Reply

  2. JayashreeVats
    Apr 19, 2022 @ 14:03:42

    Its heartbreaking to read about such losses. Life does hit us real hard often.

    Jayashree writes

    Reply

  3. Ronel Janse van Vuuren
    Apr 19, 2022 @ 14:13:35

    There are no words adequate to express the feelings around the loss of a child.

    Ronel visiting for the A-Z Challenge My Languishing TBR: L

    Reply

  4. afshan18
    Apr 20, 2022 @ 09:03:06

    Hugs to u ! Hope he is reading and smiling from above

    Dropping by from a to z “The Pensive”

    Reply

  5. Deb
    Apr 22, 2022 @ 22:38:51

    I’ve never loss a child… yet….. it is coming for our family, how long we have Leona only God knows that, but not for many more years though, I’m so thankful though that she has pasted the doctors time frame by double time and still going. When God does called her, I will be so glad for her but my world will definitely be turned upside down with a huge hole in it.

    Reply

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