Just Call Me Goldilocks

Just Call Me Goldilocks

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Remember the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Goldilocks wanders into the bear’s cottage. One chair is too soft. One is too hard. And one is just right. One bowl of porridge is too hot. One bowl is too cold. And one bowl is just right.

I was driving to work a few weeks ago, and caught myself feeling like Goldilocks.

There I was, cruising along in the slow lane, safely driving the speed limit. Cars in the fast lane (it’s only a two lane highway) were zipping along at a speed much higher than the speed limit. It was slightly drizzly, and some of those cars barely had a car length between them. There I sat in my car (oh, so self-righteous) berating the speeding drivers. Imagine, driving in such a reckless manner. So dangerous.

And then, I ended up behind a driver that was poking along, going much slower than the allowable speed limit. Can’t they find the gas pedal?

The speed I was going was just the right speed.

Thinking about how anyone that drove either faster or slower than I did was out of line, and my driving was just right, had me laughing out loud, alone in the car. Another instance in my life came to mind, where my way is the right way too.

That’s with the tidiness/messiness issue. In prior relationships, I’ve always been ‘the messy one.’ Oh, the house wasn’t horrid. It was usually fairly clean, and most often company ready. As long as they could ignore the not-quite-squeaky clean floor or the piles littering my desk. But my exes – two of them – that liked things neater and tidier were the ones in the wrong. They were ‘anal’ and ‘obsessive.’ They couldn’t just go with the flow, like I could.

But now, the tables have turned. After fifty years of being ‘the messy one’, I’m now ‘the neatnik.’ Now I’m the one wanting to have a living space that’s cleaner, tidier, and more sparkling than what I moved into. Now my better half, who has different cleanliness standards than I do, is ‘the slob.’

Just like my driving. Anything more or less than what I do is wrong. The way I do things is the right way. See – am I not Goldilocks?

By now I was only half laughing. Some of it was still humorous, but I realized that there was a lesson here I needed to learn. That part wasn’t so hilarious.

Then I got to thinking about age. How is it that with driving or cleaning, my way is the right way? Yet, with age, it isn’t so. With age, I am not content with my age. I find myself yearning for the energy, agility, and non-wrinkly skin from years past. Why can’t I take this attitude and apply it to my age – where the age I am is just the right age?

Yikes. More lessons to learn.

Here I am, 60-years old, and I’m still discovering how much I have to discover about myself, life, and living an authentic life of joy and fulfillment, leaving others to learn and grow in their own time and space.

 

I was reading a book and discovered that I’m not alone in this ‘just right’ dilemma.

In Poser: my life in twenty-three yoga poses, Claire Dederer has much the same attitude, although she mentions it in relation to parenting.

“I judged Lisa and any other mother who came within my range. The next-door neighbors put their kids to bed too early; the people down the street put their kinds to bed too late. The friend who lived near Green Lake was overly fussy about organic baby food; the friend on Queen Anne Hill was not fussy enough. Friend A dressed her baby in designer clothes, which was ridiculous. Friend B let her kids go around looking like slobs. I felt there must be a happy medium to parenting, and I felt that I was the very barometer of that happy medium. Anything that someone else did that I did not do was, to me, excessive and probably crazy…”

 

It always feels so good when I discover that I’m not the sole member of ‘The Just Right Club.’ It’s nice to know there are others.

The driver speeding along in the fast lane is probably griping about what a pokey, slow driver I am. Because their speed is just right. The one watching me approach in their rear-view mirror is probably calling me names, for being such a speedy, out of control driver. Because their speed is just right.

There’s so many place we can look at our lives and see where Claire Dederer’s “very barometer of that happy medium” comes into play. Saving money. Spending money. The foods we choose to eat – or not eat. The amount of fast food we eat – or don’t eat. The amount and way we exercise. Or don’t. The kinds of cars we drive. The kinds of houses we live in. The number of children we have – or don’t have. The way we treat our parents. The way we treat our friends. The way we treat our grandchildren. The animals we have – or don’t have. Oh, the list appears to be endless.

This is most likely a lesson I’m going to have to work on for a bit. After all, I have an attitude to correct that’s taken me 59-years to get set in place. But that’s alright. Because one thing is clear – tonight I’m going to bed knowing that I’m just the right age!

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26 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Deb
    Feb 11, 2019 @ 13:10:48

    Oh dear… I’ve been guilty of some of the same things…then when I think I’ve learned my lesson ..I do it again…🤷🏻‍♀️ now I’m not a perfectionist in being tidy but I have my opinion on children training… of course.. You just might hear me tell the car in front of me,” come on ,pop pop hurry your tail”.😂

    Reply

  2. Author
    Feb 11, 2019 @ 13:56:29

    Great post. Lots of good insights as well as humor. Enjoyed it. Jillian

    >

    Reply

  3. Cindy
    Feb 11, 2019 @ 15:06:47

    You’re right on, Trisha! There’s probably not many people who do NOT do this same thing. Thanks for another lesson to learn!

    Reply

  4. Min Write of the Middle
    Feb 13, 2019 @ 00:57:59

    Oh my goodness … it’s like you held a mirror up to my face. Guilty as charged! My way is usually the ‘just right’ way! BUT …. you’re very ‘just right’ …. and I’m sure everyone else thinks their way is the ‘just right’ way too. I will try hard to also think that my current age is ‘just right’. Loved this post – funny but also thought provoking too! 🙂

    Reply

    • trishafaye
      Feb 14, 2019 @ 02:55:48

      I’m glad you enjoyed it. (Even though so many of us are going ‘Ouch’ right now.) Soooo many lessons still to learn in this life! Thanks for stopping by.

      Reply

  5. leannelc
    Feb 13, 2019 @ 10:31:18

    I do it too Trisha – hadn’t really thought about how judgy it all was either. I certainly think the way I do things is the best way – and I can always give you several good reasons why. I’m becoming more mellow as I age, but there is definitely a Goldilocks syndrome in my life too.
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

    Reply

    • trishafaye
      Feb 14, 2019 @ 02:54:40

      Thanks for sharing Leanne. I chuckled at your comment about how you can always give several good reasons why. So very true, I think for all of us too. Have a wonderful week!

      Reply

  6. patwdoyle11
    Feb 13, 2019 @ 18:28:13

    Yes, I too am a member of the “The Just Right Club”! I am trying to not be as judgmental … but it’s a hard thing to learn. Visiting from #MLSTL.

    Reply

  7. Sue from Sizzling Towards 60 & Beyond
    Feb 13, 2019 @ 21:54:07

    Hi Trisha, I’m in the ‘Just Right Club’ and I would say that most people are, whether they like to admit it or not. I am finding that I am more accepting now maybe because I’ve hit 60 (61 this year) and I’m busy concentrating on enjoying life and evolving which can include changing things about ourselves we don’t like. I’m happy to say I’m content with my age, yes wrinkles and aches have arrived but I’m also fit and active and don’t think about my number. Thanks for linking up with us at #MLSTL and I hope you have ‘just the right week’ 🙂

    Reply

  8. Cheryl
    Feb 13, 2019 @ 21:58:33

    Thank you for the lesson! I’m also in the ‘Just Right Club’, and your post has made me realise that I should try and consider others a bit more. Yes, I’m very judgemental, and I think it’s time I stopped to think about it a bit and change my attitude in this respect. Always some self-improvement to work on! Visiting from MLSTL

    Reply

  9. Mother & Daughter
    Feb 14, 2019 @ 03:13:49

    I love this post it is so me. And I am even just right with my age. Anyone who doesn’t do things my way is wrong, I say it jokingly now because I came to the realization I was Goldilocks awhile back.

    Reply

  10. whileilinger
    Feb 14, 2019 @ 11:21:27

    Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I have found this to be true and yet I too find that I often believe that I am a great standard-setter. I wonder how many more times I will have to be reminded of this lesson. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply

  11. Christie Hawkes
    Feb 16, 2019 @ 22:26:52

    It would appear that we are all in this boat together, Trisha, judging by the comments to this post. George Carlin had a whole routine around, “anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac.” We spend much of our lives judging and then judge ourselves and others for being so judgmental! Yikes! There is a definitely a lesson to learn in here. #MLSTL

    Reply

    • trishafaye
      Feb 17, 2019 @ 18:36:15

      You’re right Christie – we turn around and are harder on ourselves than we are on others. So much to still learn in this life!
      I’ll have to try to find that George Carlin routine. I love listening to his thoughts & commentaries.
      Have a wonderful week!

      Reply

  12. raimeygallant
    Feb 20, 2019 @ 10:44:32

    What a great thought! I need to try to think about my age that way.

    Reply

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