P: Preserving Boundaries & People Pleasing
Preserving your personal boundaries is a key factor in reducing your stress levels. Unfortunately, especially for those that fall closer to the people pleasing end of the spectrum, this is not something that comes easily. Far too many people lack the skills to maintaining clear boundaries.
Never fear. This is a skill that becomes stronger with practice.
Alas, sometimes not knowing where to start is a problem.
Or, not knowing how to keep others from infringing on your personal space and time, we bite our tongues, and as we start to steam and stew with the continued barrage, we finally blow up creating an even larger problem.
PsychCentral has an excellent post: 10 Way to Build and Preserve Better Boundaries.
The first point is that we need to know our limits and where we stand. They say:
“You can’t set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. So identify your physical, emotional, mental and spiritual limits, Gionta said. Consider what you can tolerate and accept and what makes you feel uncomfortable or stressed. “Those feelings help us identify what our limits are.”
They continue with more advice, such as: Be direct, Give yourself permission, Make Self Care a Priority, and more. Check out their page for more.
Are you someone who considers themselves a ‘People-Pleaser’? Would you like to change that? Maybe there needs to be People Pleasers Anonymous meetings. If you answered yes, but can’t find any local chapters of this nonexistent group, here’s the next best thing. This page, 21 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser, is a wealth of information, tips and strategies on how to stop being a people pleaser and learning easy and polite ways to say ‘No’.