Q: “Excuse me, do you work here?”
A: “No, I absolutely love this mass produced, sweat box uniform, so I just wear it for the crack. Also, I love voluntarily getting on my knees in random stores and helping out obnoxious, rude people for free.”
Q: “How much is this?”
A: “Hmm, I don’t know. Let me just consult my onboard computer and access my worldwide price App that I have built in. I had no idea I looked like a walking price-list, I must talk to my plastic surgeon.”
Q: “Where are the toilets?”
A: “Well, if you follow the huge directional signs that this particular company has spent thousands of pounds on perfecting to ensure people like you can find them, it’ll take you right there. I know, I know, its extremely silly of me to think that you could lift your head and look for yourself.”
Q:…
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Trisha Faye 